


Ravished by a Donkey

by Mr_Skeletors_Wild_Ride



Category: Kingkiller Chronicles - Patrick Rothfuss, Shrek Series
Genre: Banter, Erotica, M/M, Romance, Sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:04:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Skeletors_Wild_Ride/pseuds/Mr_Skeletors_Wild_Ride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking place during the events of Shrek 1, this work seeks to explore what a potential one night stand between Donkey and Ambrose would be like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ravished by a Donkey

It was a bustling night at the hottest tavern in Duloc, a hip new place named “The Bewildered Harlot”. Donkey had been here before, but he had never seen it this full. According to his sources, large groups of new travelers from the west had come into town, and it seemed like a good number of them ended up here. A lot of the regulars seemed agitated at the crowd, but Donkey didn’t feel that way. He loved meeting new people. Except for that Shrek guy, he thought bitterly. Why had he stormed off and given Fiona to Lord Fartwad?  


Shaking his head and staring into his half-finished drink, he resolved to talk some sense into that obese green marshmallow in the morning. It was what friends did. And besides, Shrek and Fiona were cute together. Donkey couldn’t remember the last time he felt that way about a women. The only entity to show him any romantic interest in years had been that dragon, but that would obviously never work out because of obvious reasons. Also he wasn’t attracted to anything with scales.  
It was hard finding love as a sentient Donkey. Other donkeys couldn’t speak or think, so you couldn’t date or love them. And most humans were repulsed by the thought of having sex with an animal. There were a few exceptions of course… but they were few and far between.  
He realized he had been staring into this drink for several minutes now, in deep thought. He snapped out of it, and as he looked up, he caught the eyes of a young man sitting at a table a short distance away. He looked like a posh gentleman, with a vibrant purple suit and a dank hat with a feather in it. What kind of pimp-man is this? He wondered to himself. Surprisingly, the young man blushed and looked away as he met Donkey’s eyes. Donkey slowly started to smile. Maybe this night will bear some fruit after all.

Donkey soon walked over to the young man’s table, with an additional drink he had bought. He was carrying it with his hooves and walking at the same time somehow. “You look like a man with an exotic profession”, Donkey began, trying to break the ice.  
Donkey then took a seat and and slid the drink over. “ Uh… thank you, I think.” He hesitated. “What exactly are you, by chance? Have I gone mad, or is a Donkey talking to me?”  
Donkey laughed, in voice that sounded legally dissimilar to Eddie Murphy. “ I get that reaction a lot, don’t worry about it. Not many people get to meet a sexy ass-donkey everyday. My name’s Donkey. What do they call you?” The young man seemed a little more at ease, but he was still flustered.  
“My name is Ambrose Jakis, a lord and a poet. It is my pleasure to meet such peculiar specimen such as yourself. Tell me, where do you come from, are there others like you?”  
Donkey, perhaps missing the point, exclaimed,”Yes of course, there are dozens of us fairy tale characters about the city. Of course, the local Lord has been trying to get rid of us, but fuck that dude, right?”  
Ambrose, with his sharp poet’s wit, replied “ Oh? Did I hear you correctly Donkey? You’d like to fuck a lord?”  
It was Donkey’s turn to blush. “ You are definitely a quick one, I’ll give you that. Why don’t we get a private booth over there, it’ll be more comfortable than one of the tables.” Ambrose looked pleased, and a bit buzzed. “ Yes, that sounds lovely. It’s rare I find company who can keep me entertained.” 

Many hours passed, with Donkey regaling Ambrose about his adventures, and Donkey laughed riotously at Ambrose’s jokes and witty quips about Shrek, from Donkey’s description. And Ambrose found Donkey’s brash but earnest demeanor refreshing, after all of the petty politics of the University. Soon they were both fairly drunk, and the night had gotten late.  
Ambrose, his head swimming, suddenly had an intriguing idea. “I have something a little… stronger than alcohol in my room, if you are up for it.” He said to Donkey.  
Donkey, having had twice as much as Ambrose but was the same level of intoxicated because of his Donkey Stamina, replied “ Well now, why didn’t you say so before?! I’d love to get my little Donkey mouth on some foreigner drugs. Usually forigners are hesitant to sell their illegal wares to a literal donkey, so I never get to try anthing fun.”

With that, Ambrose led Donkey up three flights of stairs and to his executive suite. “Holy shieeet,” said Donkey, as he slurred his words and saw the luxurious room. Ambrose walked past him inside, quipping, “Did I mention I’m also fabulously wealthy?”  
Donkey was impressed, and he shut the door behind him, locking it. “Don’t want anyone to walk in when we are doing hardcore drugs.” 

Ambrose nodded, and then took what looked to be a small perfume vial from one of his bags. “Bottoms up,” he winked, and downed half of the vial. He gave the other half to Donkey, who spent a full two and a half minutes fumbling with it in his hooves trying to drink it while Ambrose watched. It was uncomfortable to watch. Eventually he did drink it, and he felt the effects immediately. Suddenly Ambrose looked more soft somehow, like he was bathed in a warm light. He also felt super great, like he had taken an Eggland’s Best hit of ecstasy. 

“Wow,” Donkey breathed. “This is what I’ve been missing.” Ambrose nodded, looking high as shit. He reached out and touched Donkey, as they found themselves both sitting on the bed now. “Your fur is absolutely exquisite, how have I just noticed that?” “I’m not sure,” replied Donkey. “But your skin is like a baby-skin rug to my hooves right now. And I’ve never been with a white man.” Ambrose chuckled reassuringly. “I shall have to make it memorable then.”  
Slowly, they looked up at each other’s eyes and stared for a good twenty minutes. Then they slowly leaned in to a kiss. It was weird because a Donkey’s face is longer than a humans and their mouths are differently shaped, but they made it work and it was super hot somehow. They both broke free of their passionate, animalistic make-out sesh and stared again, panting. Donkey then exclaimed in a very Donkey-like voice, while looking down at his always exposed animal body, “Well I’m already naked!”  
Ambrose laughed, and put a hand on Donkey’s fully engorged and throbbing, baseball bat-like Donkey Dick. “I have only one rule,” he whispered into Donkey's velvety ear. “Call me Jackass”.


End file.
